Some of these I found funny
But I'm not promising anything. These are Jay Leno quality
Q. How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?
A. There’s a big wheel parked outside his house.
Q. What’s the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
A. One was the first to walk on the moon and the other fucks little boys up the ass.
Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A. From a catalogue.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
A. He thought it was a delivery service.
Q. What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A. A Michael Jackson slumber party.
Q. Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill Clinton first thing in the morning?
A. She wants to be the first lady.
Q. What’s Bill Clinton’s idea of safe sex?
A. When Hillary is out of town.
Q. Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky turned Republican?
A. The democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.
Q. How come Mike Tyson’s eye’s water during sex?
A. Mace
Q. What does Ellen DeGeneris cook for dinner every night?
A. She doesn’t, she eats out!
Q. Why can’t the government put Magic Johnson on a stamp?
A. Everyone would be afraid to lick it.
Q. What’s the difference between Christopher Reeves and OJ Simpson?
A. Christopher Reeves got the electric chair….and O.J walked!
Q. What’s white and sticky and found on the bathroom wall?
A. George Michael’s latest release.
Q. What do you call a man with a blackhead on his dick?
A. Hugh Grant.
Q. What’s the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven?
A. A microwave stops when you open the door.
Q. How does Michael Jackson know its time for bed?
A. When the big hand is on the little hand.
Q. What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?
A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.
Q. How did Helen Keller’s mother punish her?
A. By rearranging the living-room furniture.
Q. What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well?
A. She screamed her hands off.
Q. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A. So she can moan with the other.
Q. Why was Helen Keller’s leg yellow?
A. Her dog was blind too.
Q. What did Helen Keller’s parents do to punish her for swearing?
A. Washed her hands with soap.
Q. Why did Bill Clinton stop playing the saxophone?
A. He was too busy playing the hormonica.
Q. Do you know why Monica got a stain on her dress?
A. She didn’t keep her mouth shut!
Q. What does Wal-Mart, Zellers and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. Boy’s underwear half off.
Q. 100 Women Surveyed, “Would you have sex with Bill Clinton?”
A. 80% said not again.
Q. What’s green and smells like Monica Lewinsky?
A. The pool table in the oval office.
Q. What does McDonald’s and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. They both stick their meat in 13 year old buns.
Q. What does Bill Clinton and a country folk dancer have in common?
A. They both throw a ho down.
Q. Why did Bill Clinton name his new dog Buddy?
A. He couldn’t bear to say “Come Spot… Come Spot!”
WHOA wait the fuck upQ. Why did Bill Clinton stop playing the saxophone?
A. He was too busy playing the hormonica.
the logistics of this situation are nonsensical; you are saying that
Mr. Clinton was playing the harmonica, then started to play the saxophone -
realized that he was busy playing the harmonica, and stopped playing the
saxophone. Very unlikely circumstances.
This story is LIES!
PS harmonica not hormonica
Originally Posted by myfavmovie
unless you were attempting sarcasm then....
If she gives me herpes then I'll make her feel guilty until she lets me stick it in her ass!
^^^wtf does a hand holding a football mean
^^^ or maybe a hand holding an egg
this just made my day.
i hope you're joking, or trolling. But if not, think about it...."hormonica." Say it with me...hormonica....hor-monica? Get it yet?
DERP
I knew a blonde that was soooo blonde that.......
* she called me to get my phone number.
* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
*she tried to drown a fish.
*she thought a quarterback was a refund.
*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
*she tripped over a cordless phone.
*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
*she studied for a blood test.
*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home
Dont let tears fall in my eyes
Devis mutuelle familiale des cheminots fr |Devis mutuelle familial vauban
Your sig makes you sound emo.
holy shit you sell kites? how much?
Great first post !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that was quite hilarious as a lot of things tickles us more .
Sigged, I love you.
Q. What does Michael Jackson and a Nintendo have in common?
A. They are both made of plastic and kids turn them on.
Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.
Victor Hugo
We get it. You don't like MJ. Fuck off now.
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