Squirrels

[Fero-Gradumet]

We had squirrels in our attic. I put down poison and killed all three of them. Where is your God now?!

You should first feed them for a couple of weeks. More of them will be drawn to your house from all over the area. Once you've gained their trust, it becomes really easy to poison a shitload of the little fuckers, thus cleaning up your neighbourhood.

you can do the same thing with fried chicken

[Nocturnal]

One time I was driving, caught up a little too much in my own struggles and going a little too fast. I turned a corner and saw three raccoons crossing the road. I was about to hit one but reacted poorly and wound up hitting two when I swerved. Felt bad but just kept going. That last part I'm not sure I could have handled differently; what was I going to do, pull over on the side of the road and tend to two wounded raccoons? Later I was reading a magazine and the first ad I see: Nature has something to tell you. There were the two raccoons on the side of the road. The ad was technically for something else but it was so serendipitous that I knew then that these raccoons will be waiting for me in the afterlife. So will all of the beings that you, I and anyone else have senselessly killed. How powerful they will be there will have little to nothing to do with the physical bodies they had in this world, nay, it shall be based on their focus and their will for revenge.

One time I was driving and I came upon 3 racoons that had had been hit by a car. Very sad, 1 was not moving, and the other two were walking in circles all jacked up. True story.


Also, when I lived in Tampa, there was a racoon giving us problems. First he broke into a trashcan and ate an entire case of peeps leftover from easter. Then he started crapping in our pool.

I had a motion activated sprinkler that I started using, but if I forgot to turn it on he would be out there crapping in my pool that night. So I setup a animal trap (baited with marshmallows, racoons F-in love them) and caught him. Now, with racoons you need to relocate them at least 6 miles away or else they will come back. So the plan was to go to the big park (full of rivers, aligators etc. all the stuff a racoon would ever want) and release him. When I got there a bunch of park rangers were hanging around, and trapping coons is illegal. New plan, I wasn't going to take that fucker back home, so I pulled into the next housing community, backed up to the pool area and let that SOB run free.

Problem solved.

[The Good Lord Devastation]

Squirrel makes for some good eating.

[ennaynattirb]

^ Do they taste like chicken?

[The Good Lord Devastation]

^ Do they taste like chicken?

No, they taste like rabbit.

[ennaynattirb]

I've never had rabbit, either. What about dwarf hamsters, any similarities there?

[The Good Lord Devastation]

I've never had rabbit, either. What about dwarf hamsters, any similarities there?

They taste like rabbit, which kind of tastes like chicken.

[BigMattTheHobo]

Fuckin LOL, I was about to post ITT: "Dev, how do squirrels taste?"

[The Good Lord Devastation]

Fuckin LOL, I was about to post ITT: "Dev, how do squirrels taste?"

Stereotyping again, are we?

They taste good with barbecue sauce on the grill, or you can filet and fry them and eat them with ranch. It's good.

[ennaynattirb]

They taste like rabbit, which kind of tastes like chicken.

Couldn't you have just said "They taste kind of like chicken" the first time? GAWD.

Just curious, they must not be too bad if people will go through the trouble of hunting them and all that.

[The Good Lord Devastation]

Couldn't you have just said "They taste kind of like chicken" the first time? GAWD.

Just curious, they must not be too bad if people will go through the trouble of hunting them and all that.

I'm just fucking with you. With enough BBQ sauce everything tastes like chicken.

[BigMattTheHobo]

Stereotyping again, are we?

They taste good with barbecue sauce on the grill, or you can filet and fry them and eat them with ranch. It's good.

Actually, to be honest, I really love that you're somewhat of a stereotype while breaking so many of those stereotypes. I'll explain further if you want more e-fellatio

[Nocturnal]

They taste like rabbit, which kind of tastes like chicken.

Yeah, I'd say rabbit tastes like stringier chicken with a bit of maybe porkish flavor mixed in.

[Fero-Gradumet]

Rabbit doesn't taste like chicken. Chicken, if prepared properly, can taste kind of like rabbit.

We prepare our rabbit with this round these parts:

[The Good Lord Devastation]

Actually, to be honest, I really love that you're somewhat of a stereotype while breaking so many of those stereotypes. I'll explain further if you want more e-fellatio

Dev, shouldn't we get back to saving the world?

Nah. BMTH, tell me more about what you like about me.